It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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