erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
