i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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