# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
