I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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