Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
