Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
