We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
