he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
