fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
