Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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