real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
