I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You ruined the universe
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
