chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
