just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
