plz talk dirty to me
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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