All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
