I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize