Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
