Betty ford says i'm here all night
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
jump out the window naked night went bad
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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