I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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