oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
