Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
