you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
