After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
What drink are we having for lunch?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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