Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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