im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
