Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
foreskin is a definite game changer
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
