i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
