i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
