I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Sext me about skeletons
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
