I molested 6 butterflies tonight
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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