Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
