Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
