we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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