I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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