Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
