i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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