What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize