she woke up with a sticky ear
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
