This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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