it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
