i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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