All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
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