My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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