his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
why do cheetos always look like penises
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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