woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize