Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
pray to the hookup gods
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
