oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just google imaged poop.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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