I cannot find my penis.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
