U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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