i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
