so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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