You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
