You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
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You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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