Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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