apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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