Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less talking, more tequila
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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