The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
