he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
