Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
