I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
