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How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
someone threw a dead crab at me
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
