Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
