I love black thongs
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
