you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
