Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
